Preamble
Agile promised speed and simplicity, but too often it delivers chaos and confusion. Endless meetings, buzzword avalanches, and sprints that feel like trudging through quicksand have turned “agility” into a punchline. The frAGILE Manifesto is our rebellion against this madness. Born from the trenches of real product management, it exposes Agile’s absurdities and offers fixes to restore clarity, delivery, and sanity. We value progress over process, humans over jargon, and teams that thrive without constant hand-holding. Laugh with us, learn with us, and let’s build better products.
Principle 1: Marathon Meetings over Actual Progress
We’ve mastered the dark art of triple daily stand-ups, marathon grooming sessions that outlast Netflix series, and retrospectives longer than actual development cycles. Why ship code when you can debate blockers in a conference room all day?
frAGILE Fix: Limit stand-ups to 15 minutes, focus on blockers and next steps. Move status updates to async tools. Kill unnecessary meetings and ship something real.
Principle 2: Buzzword Barrage over Plain Talk
We bow to “sprint velocity,” “epic alignment,” and “story point synergy,” crafting sentences so convoluted they make stakeholders weep. Clarity? That’s for teams who don’t own an Agile dictionary.
frAGILE Fix: Speak plainly. Use roadmaps and simple language. Mentor PMs to prioritize understanding over jargon.
Principle 3: Story Point Inflation over Real Delivery
We slap 100 story points on changing button colors and 5 points on rebuilding auth. Nothing screams “velocity” like a lying scorecard.
frAGILE Fix: Benchmark points to real effort. Estimate honestly. Focus sprints on shippable MVPs.
Principle 4: Scope Creep Chaos over Firm Priorities
We welcome “just one more feature” mid-sprint, turning our backlog into a beast. Deadlines become folklore.
frAGILE Fix: Lock sprint goals. Create a change request path. Teach PMs to say “no” with data.
Principle 5: Retro Rants over Useful Reflection
Retros become complaint carnivals. Actionable insights? Lost in the group therapy fog.
frAGILE Fix: Use 3 prompts: What helped? What blocked? What’s next? Keep retros short and actionable.
Principle 6: Scrum Master Surrender over Ceremony Command
Agile ceremonies dissolve into chaos. Scrum Masters wave white flags as meetings derail.
frAGILE Fix: Train Scrum Masters to own the room. Use timeboxing, set agendas, push back with data. Ceremonies must drive clarity.
Closing Call-to-Action
The frAGILE Manifesto isn’t just a joke. It’s a blueprint for fixing Agile gone wrong. Share your horror stories, apply these fixes, and help make agility real again.
Visit www.fragileframework.com for tools, community, and maybe stickers.